Memories brings you back

I’m seated here wondering whether I should go back or not. It was long time ago when you caused numbness to my soul. I knew I would never get out of it. But I did. Then something happens and I’m reminded of what happened that day. How you broke me.

Why now? I had trained my heart to believe I healed. My wounds are reopened just when I was about make a step. Is there something I must face before making this step? Why should I answer questions I failed to answer when my heart was bleeding? Why now.

memories brings you
(photo courtesy, Edward Ayer)

 I mean years have passed and I was ready to forget but memories brings back you. That day we were four of us. It could have been three of you when I hadn’t join you for that walk. That fateful evening it felt awkward between the two of us because she came between us. And now it is only me.

I don’t always like expressing my worst moments but here I am telling it in this space. When I lost you, I lost a part of me as well. I have never been the same as I used to before we end it all. Wait, did we even end it? You didn’t tell it to my face and I never asked questions either.

Memories of us from how we met and to our beautiful plans have been blurred and the only fresh memory I have of you is when you chose her over me. I can still see the pictures of how you treated her and how you ignored me. Well I can’t blame my memory for being choosy because this the only memory that kept me going when you were long gone.

You chose her and now memories is choosing you by bringing you back. I’m still wondering how I’m going to go back to the same place that stole a part of me. I’m I going to find my half part or I’m going to lose my only part left trying to find my lost part.

One thing is clear though I have to go back and find a part of me where I left it. And as they say, it’s better to lose yourself trying to find a part of you than not trying at all because you can’t live without a part of you. I’m going to find my part because memories brings it back in my life.

Wait, are you a part of me? Memories brings you back.

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